My Favorite Private Investigator Jokes

It’s finally March.

Spring is just around the corner.

Every winter, I tell myself that if I can just make it to March, I can make it through another winter.

As you can guess, I’m not much for cold weather.

So in the spirit of spring and sunshine days that are thankfully soon to come, let’s celebrate with some of my favorite private investigator jokes.

According to Victor Hugo, “Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.”

  1. My friend always tells everyone that he’s a private investigator. But within our group of friends, we know he’s just a gynecologist.

  2. I enrolled in an online private investigator course, but I can’t get them to respond to my emails. I’m not sure if they are just ignoring me or if this is my first case.

  3. Computer Hacking Job Interview

    An applicant interviewed at a big IT company for a “computer hacking investigator” position.

    The boss asked him, “What makes you qualified for this job?”

    The applicant replied, “I hacked into your computer and scheduled this interview.”

  4. Will Smith was found guilty of murder. Investigators say they found fresh prints at the scene.

  5. Potatoes make the best detectives. They always keep their eyes peeled.

  6. Two reasons why it’s so hard to solve a redneck murder:

    1. All the DNA matches

    2. There are no dental records

  7. Best private investigator marketing: “Bob’s Window Washing & Private Investigator” - “I’ll look into it!”

  8. Best welcome mat - “Come back with a warrant.”