I recently made a trip to Nashville for a small gathering of private investigators, hosted by Hal Humphreys, Kim Green, and Stephanie Mitchell with Pursuit Magazine and PIEducation. It was every bit as wonderful as I knew it would be because, well, the folks at Pursuit and PIEducation are kind of awesome.
As conversations flowed and we each shared the ins and outs of what we do, I stuck out like a sore thumb. Not in a negative way. I just stuck out because what I do is so vastly different from what many of my colleagues do.
I shared conversations, meals, and laughs with some of the greatest minds our profession has to offer. Just a few years ago, I would have felt intimidated. Though I did have a bit of imposter syndrome, it reinvigorated and challenged me. It encouraged me. And it reinforced that I am in the exact spot I want to be in, doing work I feel I was made to do. Professionally, I’ve never been happier.
I like going against the grain a little bit, which is strange because I don’t like individual attention. I like blending in, but being a little different at the same time. The work I do suits me. I’m a private investigator, but I also use genealogy to provide an opportunity for familial reunification that has typically been touched by adoption.
My colleagues in Nashville pointed out how emotional my work must be, which is a far cry from typical PI work. Many private investigators must learn to shut their emotions down with some of the tough content they deal with. My work is on the opposite end of the spectrum, really. Emotionally connecting with my clients is my biggest asset. And the biggest reward of my job. It’s what fuels me.
It’s funny because if you ask any of my family members or close friends, they would describe me as emotionally controlled. I don’t cry easily or often. I don’t express my emotions well at all. I compartmentalize them, only tapping into one compartment at a time, and sparingly at that.
But the emotions flow easily for me when it comes to my clients, because I am an adoptive mom. I relate so very closely with others in the adoption triad - birth parents, adoptive parents, and adoptees. We are a unique group. I am a unique private investigator. Just like I like it.
I’m getting real about my work because November is adoption awareness month. I am an adoptive mom. (Fun fact, my son is in the photo for this blog post). And I am elbow-deep in adoption searches every day with this rewarding job I do.
I support adoption, encourage it, in fact. It’s the best decision I’ve ever made, hands down. I also support and encourage adoptees’ rights to basic information about who they are and where they come from. I would be delighted if adoptees’ rights to their information became commonplace in all 50 states and my job eventually became obsolete. Maybe one day. Fingers crossed.